Posts from the ‘bad days and reflection’ Category

I think I need to leave France NOW, and go home to Saint Louis

This was a really horrid day !!

Yes, I know  that  2 weeks ago I wrote why I could never leave France.  However, things change.  You  have one great day, and then you have a completely out of no-where really awful, no good, down in the toilet, strung out on acid, when you don’t even do the stuff,  day.   That was today.

So by  8:55 this morning I wanted to kiss France GOODBYE.

Defending their country (Photo credit: Feggy Art)

In a nutshell:

Prefecture day.  Oh fun.  We take 2 hours to get there thru horrible traffic, My french teacher comes along to help with the translation,( she is wonderful)  and we get in the door.

For those that want some familiarity of that hellish procedure –  here is the link about that:

https://letters-from-marseille.me/what-it-takes-to-live-in-france-if-you-are-an-american/

The woman who “works the line” smiles and speaks a tad of English, but doesn’t say anything to us when we show her WHY we’re here, and what it is we want to do.  NOTHING.  She SHOULD know what we are about to find out……. and she could have saved us one-half hour at least……..

Finally we get up to the window.

We are told that we missed the cutoff – every one of the “60 people” (that they let in each day) are already here, and we’re too late.

We leave and head back to Cassis after thanking her for absolutely nothing.

I take a 15 minute nap.

We head back down the Gineste (mountain pass)  for David’s afternoon (extra day of) teaching, and I head to the library to work.

I find out that my phone is dead.  Not only dead, but totally devoid of information.
I mean EVERYTHING.  It has crashed.

Remembering that 2 hours ago there was a sign on my MAC saying to upgrade my iPhone which I dutifully did.  That’s when it crashed.   (as I’m thinking back…..)

I pack up after finishing up some homework – and head out.

When I find my car in the parking garage, I see that the TOMTOM is dead. It’s dead because the charger (cigarette lighter ) has died.   Now I have to navigate Marseille all by myself and my  sense of direction.  Hmmmm. This is going to be interesting.

As I start-up the ramp, I see that the cars are heading left and I follow suit, not realizing that this was the street that I should have turned right on to take me to my husband’s work on Rue Prado.

That’s where everything went wrong………for the next 27 minutes, because I went left instead of right, I ended up from the 1st arrondissement of Marseille to the 2nd to the 7th, to the 13th, and no where could I find a way to get back heading SOUTH, to the Vieux Port or heading to ANY sign that  would be a  recognizable point in which I could navigate easily from that point on. Not ONE.

As I was driving aimlessly through the tight tiny streets of Marseille I reflected on how much I missed my friends

that had just left , our very good neighbors,  at one time, in Saint Louis.    It was so hard to say goodbye at the train station.

Gare Saint-Charles, the main railway station (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We had such a good time.  It also made me miss Saint Louis but mainly my family there – Big time, – all the grands and all my children.    Yes!  Very homesick.

In addition to the above, my  mind wandered to the difficult experience  and thoughts I had about the few friends that I’ve made here in Marseille.  And now,  it was coming down to making much needed and  steadfast decisions on how I would deal with them from this day out.
Someone posted on my Facebook the following:
Our culture has accepted two huge lies.  The first is that if you disagree with someones lifestyle,  you must fear or hate them.  The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do.  Both are nonsense.  You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

So, that summed it up  beautifully in the situation I have found myself in –  with these friends.   One of my friends appears to be self-destructing and it is making me physically sick.   Sicker than my iPhone and my TomTom going kaput.  Sicker than lying on a pavement full of dog doo, smashed cigarette butts and various and assorted bacillus in order to obtain my carte de sejour.

https://letters-from-marseille.me/what-it-takes-to-live-in-france-if-you-are-an-american/

My other friend, has a lot on her plate.   There are so many things I love about her and there are also things that concern me greatly.  Well, one thing I do know is that  if  I see someone I care about hurting themselves, you will not  be met with quiet  solitude.  I care too much. I will TELL YOU.

TO LOVE SOMEONE MEANS YOU DO NOT NECESSARILY AGREE WITH EVERYTHING THEY BELIEVE OR DO.

A glimmer of something familiar,fills my  windshield  and then the sign Vieux Port comes into my view.  Now I can find my way to my destination.

Now I can stop thinking that  I must leave France and go home to the U.S.  There is always a silver lining in that dark cloud hanging out over your head………… and yes, I WILL go to the PREFECTURE at 4am this Friday………

365/209: Every cloud has a silver lining (Photo credit: riekhavoc (caught up?))